The Status of All Things - Liz Fenton

Praise for Your Perfect Life

“Your Perfect Life has all of the ingredients that I love in a book—relatable characters who made me laugh out loud, a delicious, page-turning premise, and sweet and surprising insights about how the perfect life may be the one you’ve already got.”

—Jen Lancaster, New York Times bestselling author

“I loved this from the very first line (which will go down in history as the funniest, bravest first line ever). Hilarious, honest, and truly touching, Liz Fenton and Lisa Steinke are two important new voices in women’s fiction who write about life in such a real, relatable way.”

—Sarah Jio, New York Times bestselling author

“For every woman who’s ever wondered about the path not taken, Fenton and Steinke mine—with tremendous humor and insight—the mixed blessing of unexpected second chances.”

—Emma McLaughlin and Nicola Kraus,

New York Times bestselling authors

“Liz and Lisa’s voices are warm and comforting, like a relaxed chat with great friends while wearing cozy PJs and sipping wine. I highly recommend Your Perfect Life!”

—Beth Harbison, New York Times bestselling author

“Liz Fenton and Lisa Steinke blend their voices seamlessly and hilariously and remind us that even though the grass often looks greener under our friends’ lives, nobody gets happily ever after unless they go after it. Your Perfect Life is clever, quirky, fresh, and ultimately, empowering!”

—Claire Cook, bestselling author of Must Love Dogs and Time Flies

“Your Perfect Life puts a fresh twist on a ‘Freaky Friday’ scenario: What if you switched bodies with your best friend, and got the life you’d always secretly coveted? I adore Liz Fenton and Lisa Steinke’s witty, winning style and gobbled up their debut novel.”

—Sarah Pekkanen, author of Things You Won’t Say

“Sassy, heartfelt, and smart, Your Perfect Life is a clever take on switched identities that will make you think hard about the choices you’ve made in your life and what matters most to us all in the end.”

—Amy Hatvany, author of Safe with Me

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To Cristine, for being so much more than my mom

To Matt, for making this dream possible

CHAPTER ONE

In less than 24 hours, I’ll be walking down the aisle.

Something borrowed, something blue? Check.

Something old, something new? Check.

The love of my life? Double check! #whatcouldgowrong

I upload my status to Facebook, tuck my cell phone away, and try to savor the only minute alone I’ve had all day. Sitting on the veranda of the bridal suite, I stare hard at the waves crashing against the Wailea coastline. I tug on the unforgiving fabric of my black peplum dress, having just fought my way into it moments ago. Stella, my wedding planner, with a permanent flush to her round cheeks and steely look in her eyes had unabashedly yelled, suck it in! as she yanked the zipper until it stubbornly found its way to the nape of my neck.

Embarrassed, I had immediately sent her away with a checklist, to place the gerbera daisies in the vases—two orange and one white in each—and to confirm that the ginger-glazed shrimp skewers and crispy spicy tuna rolls would be passed at 7 p.m. sharp. I also reminded her to make sure my mother and father, divorced for almost two decades, would be sitting not just at different tables, but across the room from each other, my mom’s quiet anger over my dad leaving her still easily triggered like a scab that gets scratched and starts bleeding.

“And please don’t forget to deliver Max his groom’s gift!” I had craned my neck out the doorway as she’d jogged down the hall, giving me a thumbs-up without ever turning around, no doubt trying to put as much distance between herself and the memory of forcing the folds of my lily-white skin into a size 8 dress.

I had spent months scouring Pinterest boards for the perfect gift for Max—finally settling on a vintage Tag Heuer watch, lightly engraving You’re still the one on the inside of the band, a nod to the Shania Twain song we’d danced to at the wedding where we’d been introduced by my best friend, Jules, three years ago. I couldn’t wait to tell Max the story of how I’d found the antique timepiece on eBay, then engaged in an intense bidding war with Shaggy202, my eyes