No Going Back Online - Erika Ashby

Chapter One


I’m wide awake a good hour before my alarm is set to go screeching off. Typically I’d be pissed about losing out on an extra hours’ worth of sleep, but not today. The reason I’m awake does everything but irk me. The light flapping around I’m feeling in my stomach does resemble what some might call butterflies. You know the kind. The ones that magically appear when you’re around that someone special, and every time you see them, you get butterflies. Who would have thought that the man who use to give me butterflies is indeed the reason behind the ones I’m feeling now.

Feeling the baby that’s slowly growing inside of me, moving around, has given me a new meaning to life. At first I was scared beyond belief, and wasn’t sure how this would all play out. But now, all I can do is beam because I cannot wait to hold her little body in my arms. I call her a her, well, because that’s what I’m hoping for. I wouldn’t mind having a little boy, but I just know he’d be a spitting image of his daddy, and I’m not sure how well I’d be able to handle that on a daily basis.

It’s been a month since I backed out of telling Seth I was pregnant. And one month since he unknowingly ripped my heart out. Hell, he might have known, but if so, he had his poker face fully intact. I was really pathetic to think that maybe the biggest playboy around had actually grown feelings for me. It’s not like he had grown any balls either, letting his new bride-to-be break the news to me. Man, did she love every second of it. I handled myself pretty well, even though I had an unruly amount of rampant hormones coursing through my veins. I wanted to ‘hulk smash’ her ass, his too, but I just did the untypical Mallory thing by smiling, telling the happy couple congrats and quickly walking away to cry alone.

Well, the alone part didn’t last, because my amazing friend Jesika found me before the real emotional breakdown took place. As if it wasn’t bad enough that he shot me down when I admitted to him that I wanted more than what we were, before I found out he had knocked me up that is, but now he is engaged. What the hell? It just doesn’t make sense. He wasn’t ready for a relationship with me or anyone else, so he said, and now he’s fucking getting married? His trampy ass ex who made him the man douche he is now strolls back into town, and they are instantly in love again? I call bullshit. Jesika had asked me why I didn’t tell him I was pregnant when we were hiding out after I ran off.

“Because I don’t want him to fucking only want to be with me because I’m pregnant. Shit, he probably wouldn’t anyways since he’s back with her. God, Jesika. I don’t want to be like all the other girls. I don’t want his money or to trap him into being with me. He made his choice. And I still have mine to make.”

She knew exactly where I was going with that statement. Like hell I would ever go through with an abortion. The idea of it gives me chills. Not that I judge the women that do. I mean, I do believe there’s always the choice of adoption, but I can’t condemn them for the decision they make. But the sluts out there that use abortion as a form of birth control are nastier than the scum that’s on the bottom of my shoes. They make me sick to my stomach, and it’s not just the pregnancy talking, because the whole morning sickness thing has seemed to have bypassed me. Good riddance, because my ass isn’t complaining.

So besides mending my broken heart from the man responsible for the tiny beating one that’s growing inside me, I try to keep myself busy with work, saving every penny possible. Time to put a hold on buying any new heels. Not that I’m going to start dressing like a granny, but I’m really not trying to break my neck walking around in some damn heels while I’m growing more top heavy by the day. Plus, my damn feet have been sore these days, so I’ve resorted to breaking out the cute flats I’ve accumulated over the years but have rarely worn. I might